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Fear-Less
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In Traditional Chinese medicine, when the kidneys are out of balance the organ is correlated with the emotion of Fear.
Fear, like all other emotions fall among a gradient. We try to conceptualize how those gradients compare to one another. For example, I often have people saying to me how they are amazed by my journey through Peru for a decade. I started off those first five years legally blind with out the contacts or glasses that had helped me in the past, traversing through the contry with my dalmatian. Many of these people commented how they wouldn't know where to start, that fear was holding them back.
Thats exactly where this journey through Peru began...
The only difference is that i feared the life i grew up with in the United States. I grew up fearing money because i saw it rip my family up two or three times. I feared money because i was often reminded of how i was bought in a private adoption, and sold out to a family that could get away from things with enough money (but had my biological family treated me that same way i would have been in the system for.) I feared being a women because of money- a women who's birth was bought and sold, who had no say over the development of my life, lacking sovereignty. However, I learned true abundance and richness of between a women through the cultural beliefs, and the One True Mother Earth. I saw learned the depths of the feminine archetypes by traveling through the three bio diversities of Peru: desert coast, high Andes mountains, and deep jungle. Through this journey Nature has provided me with more varieties of fruit and an understanding of balance, and of nurture.
Peru called to me in the night terrors i had as kids. They showed me my animal totems nearing extinction bleeding from the eyes standing over my bed. Instead of fearing them it fueled my aries fire with a sense of will power like only those entitled enough to call them selves aries would have. Mama Jungles Refugio has been my destiny to embark on to strive and find ways to help Mother Earth.
Not knowing my birth mother as I grew up, and having fearful substitutes, I grew up with this understanding that i was deeply loved and cradled by the one true mother. I found my solace (soul-ace) walking on the trails along the Hopkinton, Ma lake, visiting the neighboring cul-de-sacs. I sang an ethereal expression of sounds trying to harmonize with the Symphany of nature. I had to be fear-less to go to the place i was to call home; and the only way i could do that was to visualize those walks as de-escalation mechanisms when it seemed like the roof was caving in. I painted utopian dreams across my eyelids as i tried to coax myself to sleep at night.
Shortly after college I left to go to Peru. I had believed that because I had studied Dance Movement therapy with the specialization in Child development, that i had learned about enough of the world to venture out by myself through central and south America. I had back-packed my way from Panama to Peru and felt like among all of that I was being called home. That trip, taught me the world. Open me up to different layers of humanity, and shaped me into who i always believed i was destined to be.
Aries, we have to learn the hard way, and growing up I felt so relatbale to Annie, the musical singing "the hard knocks life song." But if it wasn't for fearing life I wouldn't have become the most Fear-Less women I could embody.
With this innate persistence to overcome my fear in living my kidneys began to spin out of balance from an early onset, which has kept me close to the people of the land and their secrets. A young mixologist traveled to learn many remedies across the Americas; returned a Wombyn with a way.
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